


Catch Me!

by orphan_account



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Crack, M/M, actor/bodyguard!au, cameos by the rest of EXO-K and some of EXO-M!, first time writing this stuff, what is this even
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-06-05 00:24:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6682045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As a famous actor, security is very important to Oh Sehun. Of course, the security being handsome is also very important.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catch Me!

**Author's Note:**

> well i mean this happened very quickly crap  
> i just realized how many unintentional puns there are  
> i kinda like this actually?? but idk
> 
> title's the same as an up10tion song i guess

Click, click went the hard heels on Sehun's combat boots. Click, click went the cameras as they followed his path down the red carpet. He rested a hand on his hip, more defensive than anything, but it was incredibly hard to tell. Sehun was, after all, about to receive his second Oscar, and they didn't give those ugly statues to just anybody.

Fans screamed his name and thrust out pictures of him along with Sharpies. He picked the occasional one up to scrawl something on; no matter what it was, whichever mindless consumer had gotten it would be hoarse by the next day.

"Mister Oh, Mister Oh! How does it feel knowing that you've practically cinched this Oscar again?" asked Baekhyun, a journalist he had had the (dis)pleasure of meeting too many times.

Sehun just sighed and took off his sunglasses, causing the paparazzi all aroud them to yell even louder. "Honestly, I'm very honoured and grateful," he recited the lines he had been supplied by his ever-worried agent, Joonmyun. "This opportunity means a lot to me."

He made it past the throng of people in the front, largely thanks to security pushing away the reaching arms and grabby fists. The big-eared officer grinned at him on the way in, but Sehun just looked away.

He found his placard right next to another famous man in the world of theater, Do Kyungsoo. His hair was dyed wine red and he had another man, much taller than him with a square jaw, clinging onto his arm. Strangely enough, the infamously cold-hearted man seemed to be allowing this, petting the other's hair ever now and then. Sehun barely kept in a snort of disgust and focused his attention to the main stage.

The lights dimmed, the curtains drew to reveal the host. This year, it was the entertainer Chen. 

"Welcome, everybody, and welcome to the Oscars!"

For what was certainly not the first time nor the last time that night, Oh Sehun sighed.

                              x

"And the year's best lead actor goes to..." Tension mounted as Chen eagerly hit his thighs, prompting the audience to do the same and cause a loud drumroll. Sehun rolled his eyes, already knowing the recipient.

"Oh Sehun!" The actor stood up, smiling and waving to the cameras. He received the trophy with poise and grace, displaying it like an advertiser on the Shopping Channel.

"So, Sehun--"

"Mr. Oh, please."

"Sehun, this is your second Oscar. What's it like?"

"It's amazing; but thanks goes out to the amazing crew and fellow actors from 'Exodus'. Working with them was just such a blast, so this just shows that all the hard work put in by every member of the cast and crew paid off."

Chen nodded, approving of the humble speech. "Ladies and gentlemen, Oh Sehun!" he exclaimed, causing Sehun who was still direcly next to him to wince discreetly before heading back to his seat.

                            x

At last, Sehun was at home, relaxing on the leather sofa with a flute of champagne in his hand. He closed his eyes serenely, finally comfortable.

And then the door knocked.

Sehun sat up irritably. "Security, could you check who that is? And make it quick; even if they are important, I don't want them here for long!" he called out to the guard.

The fragile peaceful state of mind Sehun recreated was disturbed a few minutes later when a girl burst into the chic apartment, wide-eyed and blabbering loudly.

"Wow,thisiswhereyoulive?It'sreallynice!Iwannalivehere too!Tobeclosetoyou!Iloveyourmovies!SomepeoplesayKrisisabetteractorthanyou,butIdon'tthinkso!Iloveyou,weshouldgetmarriedandhave1.8kidsandadog,preferablyapoodlebutdefinitelynotacatand--"

"Wait," Sehun's eyebrows knitted together. "First of all, how did you get into this apartment, and second and more importantly, who said Kris is a better actor than me?"

"Well--"

"Never mind. Here, kid, have a signed poster, and please leave and never come back," Sehun grumbled, face in one hand, signed poster outstretched in the other.

Open-mouthed, the fan started to say something but Sehun cut her off, shooing her in the direction of the door. "Now go, hun."

"Eeek, he called me 'hun'!" she squealed to herself, scrambling out.

Once the door was safely locked, Sehun strode over to the security guard, who was peacefully sitting in his chair, sipping a coffee. "Why did you let her in?" he angrily demanded, pointing towards the door.

The guard shrugged. "I don't know, she said she knew you, boss!" 

Sehun pinched the bridge of his nose. "It is far too late at night for this shit," he muttered to himself.

"Uh, boss, it's just 11."

"I WASN'T ASKING YOU, NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY APARTMENT, YOU INCOMPETENT FOOL! YOU ARE FIRED!"

Eyes large and hands raised innocently, the guard grumbled as he grabbed his cappuchino made with the machine in the kitchen and started to head out.

"AND LEAVE THAT HERE! YOU MADE THAT WITH MY SUPPLIES, MY MONEY, MY COFFEE!"

It was only after the door had shut for the second time that Sehun realized he had no protection, as he refused to install cameras.

Being the independent adult that he was, he called his manager.

Joonmyun picked up on the third ring. "Sehun?" he groaned, evidently asleep. "It's too late for this."

"It's only 11," replied Sehun snarkily, rolling his eyes. "Anyways, I fired my security guard on accident and need someone down here right now."

"Sehun!" admonished Joonmyun, very much awake. "How do you 'accidentally' fire someone?"

"I don't know! Just get down here!"

Silence from the other end of the line.

"Please?"

"Ugh. Fine," relinquished Joonmyun. "We'll hold interviews for a new security guard as soon as possible."

Sehun smiled softly. Joonmyun was kind, kind and patient enough to deal with Sehun's antics and though he may not have always shown it, he was very greatful for it.

"See you."

"See you. You're lucky you're such a rich client, kid, or I wouldn't deal with you," Joonmyun replied, but there was no real bite to the words.

                              x

"Not cute enough," Sehun evaluated their latest interviewee after he had left.

"Sehun," Joonmyun patiently began to explain, "your last guard wasn't cute, and it's not part of the official criteria, so he doesn't have to be cute."

"Yeah, the last guard may not have been cute, but look at how that ended up! I want an attractive one!" argued Sehun, not giving up.

"Oh my God, you are impossible," complained Joonmyun.

Sehun pouted.

"Fine, fine. We'll get you a handsome one."

                              x

Ten applicants later, Joonmyun was tired and Sehun was more excited than ever.

"Oh my GOD, Joonmyun! Come on! We'll never find a suitable bodyguard if you don't stop sleeping during interviews!"

"Sehun, we haven't actually interviewed any potential candidates because you keep shooting them down!"

"Never mind that, we'll find one eventually."

Just then, another applicant entered the room.

Sehun let out a quiet gasp, covering his mouth happily.

"Hi, I'm Lu Han, and I'm here to interview for the defense position!" the applicant said cheerily, reaching his arm out for Joonmyun and Sehun to shake. Sehun, still lost in his reaction, kept his hands over his mouth, but Joonmyun found out very quickly that the man's small frame did no justice to the insane amount of strength he posessed.

"Nice to meet you, Lu Han. So, to start off,--"

"Do you like bubble tea?" Sehun interjected suddenly.

"Sehun, that's not a requirem--"

"Oh, shush, he's already had a very thorough background check, and he seems fit for the job, and you were just saying how many applicants we've been through already! So back to the question," he turned to Lu Han who had been watching the exchange amusedly. "Do you like bubble tea or not?"

"Totally, it's great!"

"Great, you're hired." Sehun nodded, thinking the matter to be settled.

Lu Han seemed shocked. "Wait, seriously?"

"Mhm, you start now."

                              x

Sehun immediately developed a clinginess to Lu Han that could not be altered in any way, and Lu Han did nothing but encourage it, buying him bubble tea and little treats for when he finished shooting for the day. And in return, Sehun was very generous with bonuses. And platonic affection.

Of course Sehun realized that what he felt for Lu Han was more than just bromance. As dumb as he could become in the other man's presence, he was certainly intelligent. What he wasn't able to figure out was Lu Han's feelings for him. Humans were just too difficult.

Gossip magazines sure noticed their 'special' relationship, but Lu Han never commented on it nor asked him about it, so Sehun decided to let it be.

                            x

"Sehun, do you trust me?"

The actor was stunned. "Well, I mean, yeah, you like bubble tea."

Lu Han sighed. "I mean, like, REALLY trust me."

Sehun straightened (no pun intended) up. "Of course I trust you; why would I have hired you otherwise?"

"Good," the bodyguard nodded. So will you let me take you somewhere special?"

"Sure," Sehun shrugged.

Ten minutes later, they arrived at the docks. "Come on, Sehun, we gotta get out here," Lu Han nudged the young actor.

"Why?" Sehun stepped out of the car gracefully.

"There's someone who wants to--oh, I'll just let him explain. Oh, there he is!" he pointed at a man in a suit surrounded by many more armed men in suits walking briskly towards them. "Hey, boss," greeted Lu Han.

"I see you've brought the captive?" asked the man.

Sehun looked up suddenly. "Captive? Lu Han, what the FUCK is going on?"

"Ssh, babe, don't worry, it's okay."

The poor boy got lost in the fact that Lu Han had definitely called him 'babe'.

"We're keeping you captive along with lots of other celebrities. It's a psychology-related mafia plan that I know better than to explain to you in full detail."

"Lu Han," Sehun stared at his ex-bodyguard betrayedly, pouting. "Was this all a ruse? Did you bring other celebrities bubble tea too? Did you even LIKE bubble tea?"

"What? No, I would never! I love bubble tea almost as much as I love you, and that's a lot! Boss, can he stay with me?" Lu Han gripped the shoulders of his devastated client and appealed to his employer.

The man in the suit rolled his eyes. "Fine. Whatever. Remember, there are cameras everywhere."

Finally getting his act together, Sehun squealed, "I love you, too!"

                             x

So maybe Sehun left the press, the director of his latest movie, and Joonmyun hanging. So what? He had sent Joonmyun a little text saying that he was alright and not dead, just not coming back, and it wasn't as though he wasn't well provided for as a captive guest of the Mafia Ringleader's second in command.

That second in command being another positive. Every day, Lu Han came home with bubble tea, and the two drank and laughed and smiled. So what if Lu Han was in the mafia? So what if Sehun was captive of the same crime organization had been reported as a missing person despite Joonmyun's best efforts? They were happy together, and there was no greater pleasure than that.

Not even bubble tea.

**Author's Note:**

> whoooeee well thanks for reading partner


End file.
